♕Today's Promise: "And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
Alana, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
My Restoration Journey, I believe, started on the day that my EH (earthly husband) said he did not want our marriage anymore. That was 8 months ago and that day the ground opened up and swallowed me. However, during the journey I was being shaped by my Beloved and He was showing me that this situation started long before that. With the time I spent with Him, my Beloved was showing me moments, situations and attitudes that culminated in the "death" of my marriage. That was one of the words my EH (earthly husband) used to describe the situation, he said that our marriage had died.
What actually happened was that our marriage that had turned into a coldness really died and my Beloved began resurrecting it into a whole new marriage. Describing things a bit better, it happened like this: one morning my husband left home without telling me. We had been distant and cold with each other for some time. He was working 2 jobs and I also worked and had become a spiteful and quarrelsome person. When I woke up I called him and was super angry demanding an explanation, he yelled at me and said he didn't want to be married anymore. From then on, things only got worse. I contacted our pastor and I told him, so he went to talk to my husband and he was offended. Huge mistake! In the beginning, my EH (earthly husband) stayed at home sleeping on the couch and we even had intimacy on occasion. However, after about a month, because I hadn’t changed, he decided to leave the house. Thanks to my Beloved's compassion, in the first week I searched the internet for marriage restoration and found your book that I read in a few days. So when he left the house I was already being restored in my soul by my Beloved so I was able to let him go with no fights or demands.
How did God change your situation, Alana, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
From the first moment, I had access to the book and courses the scales that were in my eyes fell, all of the pride and arrogance from self-love. I saw who I really was and I didn't like the person I saw. My Beloved showed me each day how much I needed to change. I remember nights that I spent crying and asking Him to change me, begging Him to take all the hardness out of my heart. I learned with your courses and with my HH (Heavenly Husband) the principles of the Word and I became the woman who is precious in the eyes of God with a gentle and quiet spirit. Time passed and the more I searched for my Heavenly Husband the more my EH (earthly husband) approached and reached out to me. During this journey, he and I have never lost touch that not all brides are blessed with. We have a 5-year-old son so to encourage his dad to come more, I always left when my EH (earthly husband) came to our home. I will never forget the generosity of my Beloved during the months we were only two. He provided everything for me and in abundance as He said He would. His love turned me into a new person that I believed had never happened after becoming Christian more than 15 years ago. For I believed that I already knew Him, but He showed me that I was not even close to meeting Him. That is why I praise and thank you for this journey, for this ministry, because it made me really know Him and have a true relationship with Him!
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Alana, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
There were so many principles that I was able to learn and I am very grateful to my Beloved and to this ministry for learning each one of them, but of course, there were some that changed me more than others. One of the things that most impressed me was the principle of being silent and winning others without words, but also of being quiet in order to be discreet about a situation that everyone these days just blurts out without a thought of the consequences. I was impressed by how much this really works! When I stopped talking about the situation, my flesh stopped being fed and I noticed that whenever I slipped and talked about it, my flesh emerged and feelings of pain, anger and bitterness came pouring back. Keeping silent, together with the principle of fasting, gave me a new perspective on the whole situation. It made me see the will of my Beloved before each trial.
Another essential principle was letting go and I could see that it has many phases, from letting it go in the physical, then letting go by not even thinking about the other person or marriage restoration. The final letting go was in the heart. The best thing about learning to let go is that in the same measure that we let our EH (earthly husband) go, the more of our HH (Heavenly Husband) we get and then we feel loved, valued and desired again! That is totally different from how we felt when we were seeking and longing for our EH (earthly husband). And that is when the real joy and the joy of having the Lord as our Heavenly Husband really takes hold and changes us!
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Alana?
There were many situations that felt like my insides were a burning fiery furnace but He was always there with me. I remember that the few times that EH (earthly husband) tried to come back and a few days later he left again were terrible moments. At first I felt all the pain of rejection again, but over time these situations became less and less impactful and every time His Love remade me and made me better and more refined just as gold is refined by fire.
The last ordeal of this type was when my EH (earthly husband) returned home for good. I assumed that during the time when he was away, he was living with someone else. Until then, he had never admitted that he didn't actually have anyone. The interesting thing is that when he finally confessed that I didn't feel sad nor did I feel that pain in my heart that I felt before. On the contrary, I felt such an unexplainable peace because I knew that My Beloved was in control of everything and I was so very grateful that He had kept me from knowing this before.
Other difficult moments were when my EH (earthly husband) asked me to appear in the public defender's office because he wanted to file for divorce. It was 2 times that he made this request both times my Beloved saved me.
Alana, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point for sure was when I let go in my heart. I was living with my HH (Heavenly Husband) fully satisfied and told Him that I was willing to live with Him if that was His will because if I could choose, I’d choose Him. So very shortly after that my EH (earthly husband) came home. It was a Friday and he asked to spend the night with us and said he wanted to move his things back in. As this had already happened at other times, I did not have expectations on Saturday. Early that morning, the pastor’s wife called me and asked if she could come over and talk to me at home. She came and said that my EH (earthly husband) had sought out her husband, our pastor, the prior week and she shared that my EH (earthly husband) opened up with our pastor. Her husband said that he didn't even look like the same person when he walked into his office. Before this, he was a totally cold person who didn't even answer the pastor's calls anymore, and for years they’d been very close friends. She said that my EH (earthly husband) cried and said that his life was terrible, so the pastor said that it was time for him to return home and to his family and never look back.
Tell us HOW it happened, Alana? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Alana, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Well, he just showed up on Friday. At first I said nothing. My EH (earthly husband) didn’t tell me but I heard what happened during the conversation with my pastor’s wife. She said my EH (earthly husband) confessed that he had been living with someone and although he was not entirely sure what he wanted, he said he wanted to be home with his family. I know it doesn't seem like a promising situation since he didn’t come out and tell me himself, but the peace that my Beloved gave me during this conversation made me sure of our restoration. My Beloved has also shown me that I still have a long way to go, especially now that my EH (earthly husband) is at home. For he is not completely broken and has not yet returned to seek God the way he will need to. But I know that the One who started the work is the One who will complete it. My Beloved is mine and I am His, and He has done His will in my life. My family and marriage is His will and He is the One who I trust.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Alana?
The books How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and A Wise Woman are extremely good. Both are filled with the wisdom of God. The course is most useful because it allows us to absorb each lesson more easily and to live what we learned. I also really enjoyed the second course, it has several lessons that were my favorites and I came back to them many, many times.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Alana?
Yes. I have already filled out my application to be a minister in training to Become a Minister.
Either way, Alana, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Search our Beloved. Don't worry about anything else. Your main role here on this journey is to meet your Heavenly Husband. Knowing Him is more important than trying to do the things you believe are right or even following the principles you’re learning. Even if you slip with one or the other principle, if in your heart you seek your Beloved and have the desire to fulfill the principle the next time you will be successful and when you least imagine it happening, your marriage will be restored. Seek to be His Bride. Chase your Heavenly Husband more intensely than you chased your EH (earthly husband) or restoration and you will see your Beloved transforming everything before your eyes. It was like this for me and I pray and trust in the promises of my Beloved that it will also be like this with you to each who are reading my testimony today. Believe me, I know that He will.
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You'll find this in By the Word of Their Testimony (Book 10): "Blessings will Come and Overtake You"
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