RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “The Freedom to Let Go”

♕ Today's Promise:  "All my close friends hate me; those whom I love have turned against me.” Job 19:19




☊ RMT Audio

Pinar, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?

We had been married for 20 years, we have 2 children and this is the fourth time that we have been through a crisis in marriage. Each of the previous three times God restored our marriage, but I continued to build my house on sinking sand. I was a foolish woman, and never trusted the restoration that God had done. So I snooped on his phone, in his pockets, everything I could. In this fourth crisis, due to me neglecting my time with the Lord completely, I became a feisty, jealous woman and kept my earthly husband more and more away from me. 

In one of my daily inspections, I discovered a message on his cell phone where I realized that my EH (earthly husband) was again in adultery. I made the mistake of confronting him about it and telling countless people how unfaithful my EH (earthly husband) was. Because I attacked him openly and cornered him, he left the house for a week. 

After that period he returned home saying he was sorry, but soon after I persisted in being a foolish woman I discovered that he was still in contact with OW "other women." I was devastated and confronted him again. He then said that he was confused and that he wanted 3 months' time, but that he would remain living at home. He lived at home, but it was like he didn't live there at all, he didn't have a time set to arrive, and some nights he slept God knows where. During this period, I had already found another marriage help site, I started pursing him as the ministry suggested... sending messages, controlling his schedules, which made him want to get even further away from me. 

After 10 days of making everything worse, I discovered RMI and its wonderful principles. I read the book How God can and will restore your marriage in just 2 days and immediately started putting what I was learning into practice. I realized how much I had been wrong during all my many years of marriage and started to believe that God would restore my marriage and that now it would be definitive, because I would build my house on the Rock. I started to hope again.

How did God change your situation, Pinar, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

I read and reread the book How God can and will restore your marriage several times, then I started taking courses online, watching the encouraging videos day after day. Journaling really made everything more clear. I started trusting God to restore my marriage, with all my heart, I truly trusted my life in His hands. I recognized my mistakes and asked for forgiveness from God and my EH (earthly husband). Since then, I have experienced a relationship with my HH (Heavenly Husband) that I have never experienced in my life, despite being born in a Christian home. At the beginning of my journey, I felt anxious, suffocated, with no hope of life. As I was Seeking God and learning more and more by using all the resources offered by RMI, my heart was filled with peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Pinar, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

I thank God for introducing me to RMI because it helped me when I needed it most when I was at rock bottom. With the resources of RMI, I learned precious principles that I will carry throughout my life. One of the essential points was to realize that I also contributed to the situation my marriage was in. I realized the need to let go of my EH (earthly husband) because my attitudes only helped to keep him away. I stopped sending messages, controlling his schedules, and delivered them to my Heavenly Husband. I started to apply the principle of Winning Without Words and Kindness on the Tongue, I didn't complain and ask my EH for anything. Daily I asked God for wisdom and asked Him to fill my heart with love for my EH (earthly husband) so that I could forgive him daily. 

Regardless of the time he came home or slept elsewhere, no matter when he arrived, even if it was the next day, I greeted him kindly with love and care. We continued to have intimacy and at the beginning, I asked God daily to turn his heart towards me, the woman of his youth. “May your source be blessed! Rejoice with the wife of your youth. Loving gazelle, graceful doe; may your wife's breasts always fill you with pleasure, and her caresses always make you drunk. ” Proverbs 5: 18,19 NIV. 

Another principle that gave me peace of mind was the fasting of social networks, no longer following the gossip of social networks. It was so liberating. 

I started to apply the principle of tithing because I attended church, but I was not faithful in tithe, I just gave an offering. Still, I didn't see any fruits until I let go of my church who'd never fed me spiritually with the truth, and joined RF (Restoration Fellowship) tithing to my storehouse. This was the moment I saw things clearly like a veil was lifted from my eyes.

For me, the biggest principle I learned was the need for my HH to be in first place. That principle set me free. How wonderful it is to pour ourselves into the arms of our HH, with the conviction that He is taking care of everything, including my two children, because He is a kind and loving Heavenly Father. 

I used workers@home to help organize my time so that I could spend more and more time with Him, fasting, and praying constantly. Every day I felt more desire and yearned to be with Him. “In the same way, women, submit to your husbands, so that if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won without words, by the procedure of your wife.” 1 Peter 3: 1 NIV

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Pinar?

The most difficult moment was when my EH spent the night with the OW (other woman) on our wedding anniversary, but my HH blessed me in such a way that I managed to get through this day more strengthened and more in love with Him. I had in mind the principle that it was not my EH that he was rejecting me but that God took him away from me to fulfill a purpose in my life. 

“If an enemy insulted me, I could take it; if an opponent stood up against me, I could defend myself; but soon you, my colleague, my companion, my close friend, you, with whom I shared a pleasant fellowship as we went with the festive crowd to the house of God!” Psalms 55:12-14 NIV 

“All my close friends hate me; those whom I love have turned against me.” Job 19:19 NIV

“The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes.” Proverbs 21:1

Pinar, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

The turning point of my restoration was when I read the chapter “The Freedom to Let Go” and truly understood this principle. Until that moment I hadn't yet stopped sending messages, controlling the time of his arrival at home, but when I studied this lesson I realized that I was not applying this principle correctly, because my EH was still the first one in my thoughts and in my heart. When I realized that I was being unfaithful to my HH, I started praying and asking the Lord to empty my heart of everything that was taking His place. I understood that I needed to stop praying for my EH because my EH was in control of everything. It was very difficult to stop praying for him, at first I felt a void, but soon after, that void was filled by my beloved HH. How lovely!! The more I looked for Him, the more He filled me with His love and brought peace to my heart. It was then that my EH started to act differently, started to show regret, and treat me with love.

Tell us HOW it happened, Pinar? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Pinar, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? 

My EH again said that he loved me and wanted to be with me. The more I looked for my HH, the more my EH turned his heart towards me. I felt that my restoration was near. It was exactly 4 months after this crisis when my EH began coming home saying every day that I was the best mother and wife there is and that he even wanted to have another child with me. I was scared because having a third child had never crossed his mind. He completed by saying that I was special and pleasant, different from any OW. I realized then that my beloved GOD was restoring my marriage. I know that we still have a journey ahead of us and that I will still be well tested, but I am firm in my relationship with my EH and I will enjoy every minute in His presence. “You will not fear bad news; your heart is steadfast, confident in the Lord."

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Pinar?

I would recommend the books "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" and "A Wise Woman," your courses and videos

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Pinar? 


Either way, Pinar, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Beloved, follow the principles taught in the resources of RMI, SG (seek God) with all your heart, meditate on His Word, fast, truly give your lives in His hands. Believe me, don't lose hope, even though your situation may seem like you have no hope. Do not listen to the enemy's voice. When the enemy is trying to talk to you, meditate on God's promises, have those promises engraved on your heart. Do not be afraid, because our wonderful God knows us by name, knows all our needs, and is in control of everything. 

See your situation with spiritual eyes. In the meantime, let your heart be flooded with the peace and love of our dear and beloved Heavenly Husband. "Stop fighting! Know that I am God! I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on earth." Psalm 46:10 NIV 

“Wait on the Lord. Be strong! Courage! Wait on the Lord.” Ps 27:14 

“For nothing is impossible with God.” Luke 1:37 

“Against all hope, in hope, he believed.” Romans 4:18 

“For everything there is an occasion and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 

“As for the Lord, His eyes go over the whole earth, to show himself strong towards those whose heart is perfect towards Him.” 2 Corinthians 16: 9

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You'll find this in By the Word of Their Testimony (Book 10): "Blessings will Come and Overtake You"

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