“That’s Weird,” I Thought 

“That’s Weird,” I Thought,”

Thank GOD for this ministry. Without it, I know the principles taught to me saved me from completely destroying my marriage. I had so many well-intentioned Christians tell me to use tough love and get what I “deserve” when it comes to the divorce. They encouraged me by saying things like “God knows you didn’t do anything wrong, He is going to make sure you are well taken care of”. Well, they weren’t entirely wrong. He has taken very good care of me, but I did do a lot wrong and learned He loves and forgives me anyway. Thank you so much for being honest! The truth was very foreign to me at first, and some of the principles were off-putting. I didn’t want to think of Him as my Heavenly Husband. “That’s weird,” I thought, but the more I grew in love with Him, the less awkward and weird it became. It made sense and I rejoice in the fact that He will always take care of me as His bride.

My marriage is not yet restored, but I am not upset by that. I’ve been encouraging another woman, I’ve been reading more of His Word. For the first time ever, I’ve been reading His word and I finally find myself talking to Him more than just at night before I go to bed. I look forward to my time with Him and the blessings He loves to give me. Whether my blessing is something small or in disguise, He has opened my eyes to see them all. My husband was kind of insulting me, He was asking me why I would do such a thing. I quickly agreed with him, I said “you’re right. I’m stupid, I don’t know why I would do that. I’m so sorry.” Each time I agreed with my husband and then he started easing up and saying things like, “well no, you’re a good mom, I don’t mean to sound so harsh.” Oh, praise God! I was so happy that my husband had done that. It was a test and I was so glad I hadn’t bombed it! It was wonderful!

The hate wall is still up, but that was God answering my prayer and helping me slowly watch Him knock it down. Since then my husband has been more and more kind to me. I knew it was God and His mercies, His love. I had been fasting the week before and the next day, I was tempted to defend myself, but I didn’t. It was wonderful to see God in action like that. So clearly through my weakness.

If it wasn’t for this ministry, I never would have been able to react like that. Every time I realize I’m being tested, I rejoice. I know my time will come, but for now, I want to seek the Lord and become so dependent on Him. I love the time I get with Him, and the days I go without Him, I feel so lost. I need Him EVERY DAY.

What led me to coming here, was my husband and I had our final “do you really want to be with me?” fight. He finally answered me “no, I just want out”.

Since then I was told things like, he hasn’t loved me for a long time, he doesn’t want to try, we are toxic for each other and now my husband barely speaks a word to me. He wanted the divorce, but he doesn’t want to leave the apartment. He says he knows we wouldn’t make it without him. Me being the self-righteous Christian I was told him “we would, because God would take care of me.” I told him he had 30 days, I’m so glad I never brought it up again at the end of those 30 days. There is someone else he sees a lot, but I don’t know the extent of their relationship.

Dear bride, yes, this is hard, I know. You might look at this and think the things I thought. “I don’t want this to take 2 months, or 2 years. I don’t want to have to continue to endure this. I want God to fix this now. Yeah. I was there. I didn’t think I could take the pain anymore. I just wanted to hear my husband say “I’m sorry, I was just mad, I didn’t mean it”.

But God knows better. Listen to me. HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOU. He knows how much you can handle, so He won’t give you more than that, but He will push you. You CAN do this. He knows you need to be refined. So please, don’t resist. Don’t hesitate. Let go and let God work on you so He can bless you.

I was lucky enough to have found this ministry very early on, so the wounds were very fresh for me. I had hopes that my husband would be able to repent like he had done before and turn around even quicker since I started seeking God right away. But know this, it is going to take time to change a sinner like me. It’ll take time for God to change a sinner like you too. But rejoice. You already have your promise!! Now let God remold you into His perfect bride and make you ready for a wonderful and beautiful restoration. Just focus on God and let Him do the rest. Read these materials, over and over again. When you have a question stop and ask Him to show you. Clear your mind, ask God and wait for His reply. I’ve had many questions. The closer I got to God, the more clear my responses were. If you feel foggy when talking to God, fast. I mean it! I’m nursing so I couldn’t fast for seven days, but I did indeed fast. My milk supply is still up, God took care of that. He saw my heart. He knew I wanted to get closer to Him. He took care of everything!! Have that faith, dear bride. Trust in Him. Please. It makes things so much easier when you give it ALL to God. Big and little things. Take it to Him. I love you so much! I’m praying for you. God loves you too. So enjoy this opportunity to spend this time with Him. You won’t regret it.

~ Maria in Illinois

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