I Waited, Fasted and Prayed

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♕ Today's Promise: “Don't worry about anything. But in everything, by prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving, make your requests to God. And God's peace, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7

~ Bernie in Slovakia

☊ PRAISE from Bernie

I exalt and praise His wonderful name, He is God and no one can match Him. You may remember how I wrote in Praise a few weeks ago that my ex-husband took over the loan and wanted to give me money for a house so we could "settle down" (as he calls it). One day, as I thought about it for a moment, I felt a huge pain in my heart and cried. When I thought that FH (former husband) would have to increase the loan, which he is already repaying, I was in pain. I cried a lot because of that, I was very upset that he would have to get even more in debt because of me. I asked my Heavenly Husband if what I was feeling was from Him.

I felt a huge need to go to FH (former husband) and tell him not to do it. I didn't know what to do with it, so I waited, fasted and prayed, asking for His Word and His guidance. Yesterday, FH informed me that he needed some of my information and that I should go to the bank with him in two days. The next day I began to fast again, to pray, and I read in His Word, “Therefore lay down a lie, and tell the truth each one with his neighbor; for we are members of one another.” Ephesians 4:25 I was encouraged, and I was in great peace, even though I knew that what I was about to say to him would be unacceptable to him.

In the evening, during a short conversation with FH (former husband), I told him that I did not want him to go into even more debt, and because of me he increased his credit, that he did not owe me anything, but I would not stand in his way. He began to talk about how advantageous he had been for the loan and that nothing had changed for him, supposedly only for the better. He also admitted that most of the money would be provided by his brother (a born-again Christian who supported me from the beginning and prayed for the salvation of our marriage). I listened to how well my FH was doing and even got money from his brother on a gold plate, and he didn't even insist on returning it to him any time soon, and who actually wanted to give him the full amount, but FH refused. (Which I'm also sorry about, because FH has always been very annoyed that his brother pays a lot of things, we've both always felt like his debtors.) And I won't even have to buy my own small apartment. It was like a dagger in my back, and who knows how long I would have remembered it if ... If I hadn't read Chapter 8 of the book Poverty Mentality, “Embracing the Poverty” a few days ago. My Love knows exactly why I read it right now.

Within an hour of bringing everything before Him and handing everything over to Him (anger, sadness, the need to forgive his brother, despair at how he was doing well ...), He turned the storm into a calm breeze. He also changed my view of my brother-in-law. I believe he gave him the money because he cares about me and wants me to be taken care of. I have accepted His will and it is not my job to continue to deal with why this is so, what will happen next, and so on. I trust Him and I love Him, I am sure that everything will serve me for good. As long as I have Him, my Love, I have everything! I do not forget that I am His bride (not His wife) and that He will pamper and love me. I remember how we used to live in a small apartment after the wedding with FH (former husband), we didn't have much, but we had ourselves and that was enough for us. Exactly like that, but even better, it will be with my Beloved Heavenly Husband, because He loves me with infinite love, His resources are inexhaustible!!

Dear Brides, FH (former husband) mentioned one thing in our conversation, and that was that he would not be able to give me money, he would feel terrible and he would feel that he was my debtor. You see, he can't accept when his debt is forgiven, he feels guilty and thinks that he can redeem himself from it, and that's how we often go with our Beloved. He forgave us all guilt, just like that, for free and without expecting a reward, what a grace! And we try to do and solve and somehow deserve it. Let us stop and let ourselves be loved and led by the Man in which our treasure is. Let us examine our hearts and please Him as much as possible, not because we are His debtors, but because He is holy, merciful and faithful, ... For He is who He is <3

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5: 3

“Don't worry about anything. But in everything, by prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving, make your requests to God. And God's peace, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7

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